Money fights in marriage are more common than many couples think. When you see a couple who seems like they have it all together, especially in the financial department, it’s easy to assume they must not have issues with finances. The truth of the matter is fights around money are one of the top issues that often lead to divorce. Keep reading to discover our practical suggestions for preventing money fights in your marriage.
3 Common Money Fights in Marriage
1. It’s Your Fault
Whether there were issues prior to becoming married or some evolved throughout the duration of being together, it’s easy to play the blame game. It’s even easier to point the finger at the other spouse if you are the one not spending much money at all. Trying to nail down one person or the other as the sole reason for financial issues and struggles is one way to keep money fights going in your marriage.
2. Hiding Purchases from Each Other
To be completely honest here, hiding purchases is a form of secrecy and lying – two things that God hates. This sin can also open the door to other hardships that you won’t want to deal with. If you feel like you need to hide your purchases, get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. Perhaps you’ll find that it branches from something in your past or maybe even from childhood trauma. Regardless, money fights are always enhanced with there is secrecy involved.
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3. Money Priorities
Having priorities for money is often overlooked in marriages. Most couples come together with their own thoughts of who should have control of the finances and may not consider having the money talk until issues arise. Just like other areas need priorities, so does the area of finances. In fact, it’s even more beneficial to have this talk before getting married. The lack of having financial priorities can easily lead to money fights in marriage.
How to Stop Money Fights in Your Marriage
Stop the blame game.
While it’s easy to point the finger and place fault on one spouse or the other, both people must come together for important conversations. One of them should be about expectations each of you have for your money, spending habits, and the like. If you’re unsure where your spouse stands on the idea of how money should be spent, now is a great time to gain that understanding.
Be honest with your spending habits.
Spinning from stopping the blame game suggestion is being completely open and honest about how you and your spouse are spending money. If you are feeling guilty for spending money (and especially hiding it), try to talk about it with your spouse. There may be some rooted issues that need prayer, fasting, etc.
Set priorities and boundaries for your money.
When setting priorities and boundaries for your money, it doesn’t mean putting a freeze or lock on accounts so the money can’t be touched. In fact, it can start with something as simple as creating a monthly budget that accommodates your income and outcome. This is also a good time to set money goals for your marriage, especially if you have plans to make big purchases such as buying a house or car. Overall, you should both come together and create a financial plan of where you want to be.
Seek what God’s Word says about money.
The Bible doesn’t lack guidance in the area of money and finances. God is very clear from the beginning about how to take care of what He gives us, including our finances. Familiarize yourself with what the Word says and make every effort to abide by what He commands. You can also use Scriptures around money to pray for you, your spouse, and your marriage in this area.
Final Thoughts
Money fights in marriage may be common, but they don’t have to be for your marriage. Take the necessary steps and actions now to prevent any financial issues from arising and/or getting worse. In most cases, there simply needs to be better communication and dialogue around each of your priorities and expectations for your finances. When you and your spouse are on the same page, this is one area that won’t hinder your marriage from prospering. And as always, keep this area of your marriage prayed up!
