Marriage mindset is something you may not hear discussed much, but it should be. The truth of the matter is your mindset and how you view your marriage will still be there long after the butterflies have worn off and the first official argument has happened.
Simply put, what you think about your marriage dictates what you will experience in your marriage. Even more so, it’s important to know how to renew your mind in God’s Word in order to have (and keep) the right mindset for marriage. Here are some ways to do just that.
How to Have a Thriving Marriage Mindset
See problems as opportunities.
Although scripture plainly states that two will become one, it’s often hard to see that in the natural, especially when you’re still two physically different people. This means there will be moments of disagreements and maybe even bad arguments; however, these can be seen as moments to learn more about your spouse. Instead of focusing on your way versus their way, approach the issue with compassion and understanding.
Don’t try to change your spouse.
This is one of the biggest traps most people fall into, especially once they become married. “If I can just get my husband to….” or “If my wife would just….” are comments usually fueled by the end goal of the other changing to meet the other’s needs. Having an “I can change him/her” mindset will cause you to miss valuable growth opportunity moments. Instead, you may end up more defensive and resistant to any kind of change altogether.
Adopt an attitude of forgiveness.
When you are married to the love of your life, it doesn’t mean that things will not happen that won’t end in some kind of hurt. Chances are you’ve already experienced a let-down where forgiveness had to be the final answer. If it’s hard for you to forgive, we recommend adopting an attitude of forgiveness so it becomes the first thing you do versus the last resort. This will open the door for it to also be reciprocated much easier.
Focus on what you have.
Between the Hallmark movies and social media, it’s easy to get side-tracked by what you wish your marriage had. Instead of falling for that lesser-than bait, focus on what your marriage actually has. Be thankful for even the smallest of things such as your family’s health, having food, clothing, and shelter. These are often things we can take for granted.
Make your marriage a priority.
In the hustle and bustle of life, kids, errands, jobs, church, and other extracurricular activities, it’s easy to put your marriage on the backburner. Whatever you do, always be intentional about putting your marriage first. A happy marriage paves the way for powerful parenting, which then opens the doors to helping others. Make your marriage a priority by having frequent dates, making time to communicate distraction-free, and being honest with one another at all times.
These mindset suggestions may seem easy, but trust us when we say that they take work. They also take knowing what God’s Word says about it. If you feel yourself seeing your marriage any other way than how God says, stop, drop, and pray. Then go to His Word and find scriptures to meditate on and memorize. Your mindset and your marriage will be better for it!