When we were first married, I realized how my husband doesn’t like to talk about his feelings. In fact, I felt he clammed up from the minute we said, “I do!” Sure, he still expressed his love to me and told me how much he cared, but he just didn’t (and still doesn’t) like to talk about his feelings.
Being an extrovert by nature, that caught me off guard. Suddenly I found myself not sharing my heart with him as often and there became a gap of communication between us. But friend, not having regular and healthy communication with your spouse is dangerous.
How words of affirmation matter to men
After a while, I quickly realized the error of my ways. In withholding my inner most thoughts and feelings, my new husband simply didn’t feel validated or appreciated.
Men crave respect and knowing they are valued. By speaking words of affirmation into their life, even if that’s not their love language, helps them know how much we as women care.
Simple words and daily reminders can help them feel respected and appreciated. This gives them the fuel and affirmation they need to take on the world each day. This simple token of appreciation will also strengthen the bond of your relationship, too.
Simple ways to share words of affirmation
Yet affirming your husband doesn’t have to be long, mushy conversations. In fact, some of the best ways we communicate isn’t through words at all. I love to:
- Send him a sweet text during the day.
- Leave him a note by the coffee pot or even sneak one into his lunch.
- Do a simple act of service to show I care. (join the Blessing Your Spouse Challenge for printables filled with ideas for loving and serving your mate)
- Send him a sweet meme. (hey, Facebook is good for something, right?!)
- Brag on him in front of other people.
- Leave a note on the bathroom mirror.
Words of Affirmation for Men
There is a big difference in the words of affirmation a woman longs to hear and what men crave to hear. Throughout the years, I realized I often shared the affirming words that I needed, and not the words that mattered most to him.
I recently asked my husband what words or phrases would help him feel loved and appreciated the most. While every man is different, here’s some starting points as you learn to regularly speak words of affirmation into your husband.
- I respect you
- I appreciate you
- You’re the best at …
- You bless me because…
- I’m grateful for your hard work
- You’re still my top choice
- I’m attracted to you
- I notice how hard you’ve been trying to …
- You make me laugh when …
- You’re sexy when …
- You’re a stud (This is something I would NEVER have thought to say!)
- Thank you for …
- You still have my heart
- I love it when you…
- Your opinion matters to me
- Thanks for talking about your feelings
- I appreciate your honesty
- When you help me with … I fall in love all over again
- You still make me melt
- I love the person you’ve become
Friend, don’t let your husband’s tough exterior get in the way of speaking life and encouraging words to him. Watch and see how this simple act will change your relationship!