Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun. Literally, and figuratively. So many married couples fall into the trap of not having sex once they find that they are married for several years. Why exactly is this? What happens to make the sex drive and desire for one another suddenly gone?
Honestly, there can be many factors that play into the fact that your sexless marriage now exists. More than likely, it’s outside factors that you can probably alter and fix! If you are searching for how to fix your sexless marriage, here are some simple tips on how you can take control and bring a healthy sex life back to your marriage.
How To Fix Your Sexless Marriage
Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your spouse.
If you’ve closed yourself off physically and emotionally, the time is now to let your spouse back in. If you can’t connect on levels other than physical attraction, your fix for bringing sex back to your marriage will be short-lived.
Show your emotions, talk about your feelings and let your spouse connect with you mentally and spiritually as well. You may find that once you connect on those two levels, your desire for one another will return as well.
Schedule your sex.
Sounds crazy, right? The thought of actually write out the word “sex” on your calendar as if it’s some sort of appointment that you can’t miss or be late for. But…the truth is, if you and your spouse haven’t had sex for a while, it takes a bit of planning to get back into the swing of things.
Planning out the day or days per week doesn’t have to be a forever fix, but it can be a temporary way to help both of you get your groove back in the bedroom.
Ask your spouse what they desire, and then try it out.
This doesn’t mean to let go of all your values and morals and try something totally crazy, but it means that it’s okay for your spouse to voice ways that make them want to bring back sex to your marriage. Adults connect on many different levels and are also often intrigued by trying something “new” with their spouse.
We’ve probably all been there at some point in time and had that extremely awkward conversation with our spouse. If what they want is something that you are comfortable with and can do, is there harm in trying it every now and again? And yes..the tables are turned as well for your needs, too!
Pray together and speak to a counselor.
Couples who feel that they are stuck in a sexless marriage shouldn’t give up. Again, most times its outside forces or stresses that are causes that void to happen. One way to overcome the feeling is to pray together and become closer through prayer. Couples who pray together, stay together, right?
And while prayer is quite powerful on its own, seeking out help in marriage is also a great idea. Having the perspective and advice of an outside third party can be very beneficial in finding new ways to fix your sexless marriage. Many people tend to have a negative outlook on marriage counselors, but just remember that they are there to fix your marriage and to stop it from heading towards divorce.
If you find that you are feeling as though you are stuck in a sexless marriage, your spouse is probably feeling the exact same way. Don’t give up on your marriage just because of this! Try these simple tips instead and see if you can repair and bring back the intimacy to your marriage!