Letting Go Of That Tough Guy Mentality
Are you tired of acting cold or harsh toward everyone that you come in contact with? Do you get tired of feeling that you have to justify yourself to everyone – especially to those that hold reputable titles? Are you quick to show your aggressive personality whenever you feel challenged or not in control of the situation at hand? Are you someone that has no problem giving off glares or trying to get the last word in on people? And we all know that those last words are sometimes four letters, huh?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then I would encourage you to take a moment out of your day and reflect on ways to deal with your hard exterior or tough guy mentality.
Men, we have to stop placing our self-worth based upon service or titles. In other words, you might be a husband, father, and whatever job title that you uphold; but these titles do not determine who you are. I personally struggle with this on a daily basis. In my mind, I feel that my wife and children should automatically respect me because I am trying to cram service to four people in a short amount of time, after working a ten hour day at work. They should hold me in high esteem because I provide financially for them to play their sports and also put food on the table. Before all of you judge me – men we must admit that anyone can go and work hard for a pay check. But how many men will use that same energy or more towards loving on their wife unconditionally or learning how to be an effective parent?
I am still learning that my wife and my kids all have different personalities and want a piece of my undivided attention. Men, we can not just go through the motions but instead we must learn how to be an active listener. An active listener looks their loved one in the eyes while patiently waiting for them to explain themselves. Now in order for us men to let go of having a tough guy mentality, we must admit to our loved ones and God that we can not do it alone. No matter how hard you try to out serve your family – God moves obstacles from us when we rely on His grace and mercy. He will fill you with His love and give you the grace to walk it out.
Men, it is our job to make sure that our entire family is fed with the Word of God on a daily basis. For example, my lovely wife and kids wait to eat dinner with me after work. I get this opportunity to see how each of my three children’s day went. I always read at least one scripture while at the table eating with my family. Also, I am currently reading the family devotional Learning to Speak Life: Fruit of the Spirit to my family and discuss how it applies in their lives. In addition to reading the word, remember to obey it and act it out. For instance, it is extremely important that you physically touch and love on your children. Remember, your children always know whether you are genuine or not. We can’t just read the word, but we must do what it says (James 1:22).
Finally, we have to admit that we do not know it all, and be willing to learn from your wife and children. If I am being honest, my wife has taught me some of the most amazing things about life. God uses her to speak truth into my life all the time. Kids have really good ideas that can be explored with patience. I love to come home and experience the unconditional love of my children within their own personalities. I love receiving God’s love without having to feel that I have to please people and so do our children and wife. People pleasing is not from God and must be addressed immediately. The best way to combat with people pleasing is for you to get into the Word of God and allow Jesus to show you who you are. Jesus does not care about titles or your life’s experiences, but instead He wants to win your heart and spend eternity with you. No matter what obstacles you are facing right now – always remember to walk in love.