Often heard when speaking of a wife’s role, Proverbs 14:1 simply states, “A wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
The verses following that verse are largely unsung, but what we find there are practical instructions for building a better home. We know the woman of the home is also the heart of the home. May you be encouraged to become a better heart for your home, a treasure truly worth building upon.
Proverbs 14:2: “He whose walk is upright fears the Lord, but he whose ways are devious despises him.”
A wise woman seeks to be in right standing with the Lord so that she may stand pure and faultless in the eyes of God and man. She knows and seeks to function in God’s design for her role in the marriage. Her obedience to Him shows she reveres Him and trusts His will.
Proverbs 14:3: “…the lips of the wise protect them.”
A wise woman knows that her words are either a blessing or a curse to those around her and to herself. Quietly and patiently extending grace when we’d rather give our husbands 40 lashes with our words, takes a great amount of self-control and wisdom. But there are times when our words are wrong, no matter how right we are.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Pr. 31:26)
“He who holds his tongue is wise.” (Pr. 10:19)
Proverbs 14:4: “…from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.”
No, a wife doesn’t have to work like an ox. However, “she sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for her tasks.” (Pr.31:17) She is physically able to accomplish her duties. Each one has different giftings and capabilities. Do yours well.
The thing about oxen is they aren’t fast and they can’t do it all. But they are steady and deliberate. Be deliberate like an ox, dedicated to your work. “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor.” (Pr. 12:24)
Proverbs 14:5: “A truthful witness does not deceive”.
Deception. Intentional misguiding. A wife should never stoop to it, yet so often we deceive our husbands with well-planted words or questions, trying to manipulate him into something we want rather than being honest and straight-forward about the matter. Maybe you don’t lie. But what are your motives? Don’t indulge in deceptive manipulation.
Proverbs 14:6: “…knowledge comes easily to the discerning.”
Proverbs 14:7: “Stay away from a foolish [wo]man, for you will not find knowledge on his[her] lips.”
As a woman seeking the Lord’s way, our relationships with other women must be healthy for our marriage. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us that “He who walks with wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” If our ongoing conversation with a friend revolves around the latest failure or imperfection that human husbands tend to display, then, dear wives, we’d be wise to reevaluate said friendship.
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves hard questions. The hard question here is, “Is this friendship building my home well?” A friend who is truly a friend will respect your marriage and the privacy needed to keep it healthy.
Proverbs 14:8: “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,”
A prudent woman is a woman who thinks. She has a plan. She uses her time and resources wisely. She “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Pr. 31:27)
A home driven by a purposeful, prudent woman will be a peaceful, loving oasis for all who enter. They will be able to let their guard down and relax from all the craziness life can throw at them. A husband needs that.
Proverbs 14:9: “…goodwill is found among the upright.”
Being good to the man you love shouldn’t be hard, right? Having a heart that seeks to bless him means one that genuinely tries to “do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Pr. 31:12) Through her good deeds, her husband’s heart can then learn to safely trust in her.
Romans 12:10 holds the admonition, “Honor one another above yourselves.” First Thessalonians 4:29 tells us to “encourage one another and build each other up.” Dear wives, let’s wisely consider the fact that our husbands are one of those “one anothers.” Let’s do his heart good.
Proverbs 14:10: “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”
Are we a joy to the hearts of our husbands? Do we make him glad to come home? “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” (Pr. 12:4) Let’s be a crowning to our husbands, a perfecting piece of God’s great plan for marriage.
Proverbs 14:11 is much like verse one. “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.” (Proverbs 14:11)
As upright, God fearing women we set our hope and trust in Him. We build our homes not so much by our abilities as we do our attitudes. Each woman has the ability to set the atmosphere of her home by her demeanor. We can either set a cold, sullen, critical atmosphere, or we can set a safe, loving, accepting atmosphere where hearts can thrive.
From personal experience, my home flourished more after I chose to seek the Lord’s guidance and direction, laying down myself, diving into His Word seeking an eternal perspective. What did I gain? A new heart. With the growth of that new heart grew a better home. And in that better home dwells a man whose heart can safely trust in his wife more and more each day.
Let’s build our treasures well, dear one.
Guest Post Author:
Kaylene Yoder is just a girl with a sword, a shield and a strong cup of coffee. She finds her first ministry to be in her home living out her calling as wife and mom. In her spare time she writes to encourage women to thrive in their current roles well. Be it through sweet encouragement or an occasional dose of humor or spunkiness, her goal remains the same… to point women to the Lord. You can find her blogging at http://kayleneyoder.com or socializing on Facebook and other social medias.