Episode 002: How to Discover Your God-Given Purpose as a Couple

Episode 002: How to Discover Your God-Given Purpose as a Couple

Carlie: 00:00 Welcome to episode two of the Marriage Legacy Builders Podcast with your hosts, Mike and Carlie Kercheval.

Carlie: 00:09 Hello. Hello. We are so excited that you guys are here with us today to talk about how to discover your God given purpose as a couple. Did you know that God has given you and your spouse a purpose together in your marriage? You didn't know that? Well, if you didn't know, we're here to tell you that He has. And not only has He given you a call as an individual, your marriage union has one too. And you guys, let's just kinda talk about something before we dive in. I've noticed that, you know, in my life when I didn't have purpose, I didn't have clarity on what I was doing or where I was going, that I didn't have peace. And as we know, God tells us that we're going to be led forth by his peace. And so when we don't know our purpose as a couple, it's much the same. We're not walking forward together towards the vision and God's designed for our marriage. So that means that when we're not walking in unity, then we must be walking divided. Right? But it also means that we're not likely working as well as we could be as a team.

Mike: 01:22 Yup, that's right. And you know, the good news is it does not have to be this way. You know, you can definitely make a change. Make a decision today and say, you know what? I'm going to, we're going to go after this. It doesn't matter what we feel like, what things look like, we're going to take a stand and we're gonna fight and we're going to learn how to discover our purpose as a married couple.

Carlie: 01:51 Because my guess is you guys know that you have a purpose. You feel it deep down inside. You know that when God called you together as a couple, there was something there intrinsically there that was binding you together. The spirit of God. Even if when you got together, you weren't Christians. It doesn't matter. Purpose is there. You know, God tells us in his word that he's written the law on the tablet of our heart. He doesn't say on the tablet of the Christian's heart. He says on the tablet of man's heart. That means everybody, anybody that's ever had a pulse on this planet had the law, God's law written on their heart, and so when we're not walking aligned with that, we don't have peace. So we're going to start off with a scripture today. And Michael, do you want to read it?

Mike: 02:34 Yes. This is Ephesians 2:10 which says, "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." And this applies to purpose, the purpose he wants you and I to fulfill as a married couple.

Carlie: 02:55 That's right. It's one of those things. Every time I read the scripture, I'm so blessed because we were created in Christ, right? Being a born again believer, we died to our own self, to our old ways, your old sinful nature. We died and we decided to become a new creature and I love the symbolism in baptism. You know, when we go under that water, we are just, that's the death, burial and resurrection essentially. It's like being able to take hold of that and to know that I was actually created in Christ to do good works. And I love also that we know that God, he's all knowing, all seeing, he's omnipotent. He prepared these things in advance for us to do.

Mike: 03:38 Yes. And I also like, you know what we just talked about God's handiwork. I'll think of it like a trophy. We know that, you know, I know when I had my trophies at times that, you know, when I was a kid, they get dusty. You know what I mean? They collect some dust, you know. And so even when they get dusty, you have to dust them off. And it's always something God is sitting there saying, to you and your spouse, that's my child. That's my son. I have a purpose for them. There they are. And when he's, when he's doing a tour to look at it that way, he's not forgetting either of us.

Carlie: 04:14 That's right. And I don't know about you, but I was one of the ones that would polish my trophies. So, but in all seriousness, I mean it's a good analogy. And I think what I love about Ephesians 2:10 when it is applied to discovering your purpose as a couple, this implies that God has prepared good works, works for us to do in Christ in advance. So that's where I think of, you know, we have to seek wisdom and we have to seek for it as treasure and gold, right? And that applies to your purpose. And so one of the questions that we might ask, and you may be asking this, but how do we know our purpose? This scripture is great, but how do we know or what if I thought I knew my purpose but I feel like it's changed? Well, that could be the case as well.

Carlie: 05:05 So what we're going to go through are some steps that you should take regardless if you know your purpose, regardless if you feel like your purpose has changed, these steps in the interim and every time are going to give you the clarity that you need to hear from God so that you two can discover that purpose for this season. And so that you two can actually walk it out together. You're going to have a common goal, a common vision, a common dream that is literally straight from the Holy Spirit. So the first step is resetting. Why? Why do I have to reset? Well, the way I always put it is this allows for me to clear away all that mental clutter. Clutter is in my mind. And I don't mean for it to be, some of it's personality. You know, I'm constantly, I'm very analytical, so I'm always thinking and organizing information and bringing in new information and comparing this information to this.

Carlie: 05:59 I just, I can't help it. It's the way I'm wired. But also it's the stuff that, because we're so connected now because of technology, you know, whether I, maybe I got 10 texts today, I mean that's not uncommon for people asking me to pray for them. You know, maybe it's that I go into my Facebook group for wives, women and wives of integrity, and I look and there's, you know, a whole bunch of questions. Yeah. No matter how it's coming in, it can be a cluttered, if you're not careful and you're starting to give little bits and pieces of yourself away and you get lost in that clutter so you can't hear his voice.

Mike: 06:34 Yup. And that is so true. I know a lot of times, even when I was in the Army, you know, I had to learn the balance cause I was constantly wanting to fix things. But when you're trying to fix everything, you don't have the energy to focus on what it really is to prioritize and it pulls you, it can drain you and you're constantly doing everything but not really getting anything accomplished.

Carlie: 07:00 It's like busy work. It's like I think of like the Flintstones, you know on the feet are going and they don't have engines and their feet are just going in and out. Well they got somewhere. But if I did it, I wouldn't get down the block. But it's one of those things. And and resetting also, you know, not only does it help you to hear God's voice, but it helps you and your spouse to focus on one another. You know, there's all these things again away, it can be work. Maybe you really enjoy your job, which is a blessing. Yes. But sometimes if we're not careful, then it can cross that line in that boundary of taking time away from your spouse because you're super excited about a project at work. I know Mike and I have both done that before. I know that when I was writing a book or maybe doing, you know, just different things that I've done over the last decade of being an entrepreneur, that I would sometimes let it cross over into that zone.

Carlie: 07:50 And because I was so excited and I love the way it made me feel, I wasn't realizing that what I was doing was neglecting my husband at times. So we have to be really, really careful to make sure that we're constantly resetting so that we can hear God and we can hear our spouse. That is so true. So another thing that we need to consider is how, how do we reset? You know, Mike and I talk about this a lot because this is something that we're, we are focused on eliminating that clutter all the time. And the way that we find easiest to do this is to get rid of anything that we no longer need in this season of our lives. So Michael and I just very recently had a lot of changes. You guys a lot. You know, Michael ended up getting out of the Army, you know, the transition to civilian life was big.

Carlie: 08:40 It ended up when he came home, he's been working full time with me on the marriage ministries and he's homeschooling the boys. Big change for him. I'll let him talk to you about that in a minute. We also recently relocated across the country again. This time though, we got to choose where we want to live ourselves. It wasn't the Army sending us, but, but still nonetheless, it's a lot of energy. So during that process we were getting rid of things back in Colorado that we didn't need and we're going to bring down here to the beach in South Carolina. We're like, you know what? We don't need this. We don't need that. And there's something so freeing about that. You feel just free and you feel this load lifted like wow. Like you could breathe in and you're like, you know what, I'm ready for what God has because I don't feel weighed down by the past.

Mike: 09:28 And I know for me and, and one of my big adjustments was homeschooling my boys. Yeah. I had the mentality coming out of the Army that, you know, cause I was in a leadership role. I can say, Hey, this is the game plan. We're going to start on this time. We're going to go boom, boom, boom. You know, and I didn't even, I didn't even you guys, I didn't even factor in breaks or recess. You know what I mean? My mind is like, let's knock it out. Young boys. Yeah. Two young boys. You know, I think at the time they were 9 and 11-years-old. And what I had learned over the course of two and a half years is that I had to earn the respect and I had to learn to win their heart. I couldn't treat them both the same. They have totally two different personalities. And my whole point is as Carlie and I, as we were preparing to move and get rid of things, it showed me some of the things that I held onto or I thought I wanted. Number one, I didn't know it was there. And number two, it didn't have so much value like it used to. And so as we do this, you will start to see what holds more weight or what holds more value to in your current season of life.

Carlie: 10:41 It's so true. And, what this enables you to do is to set priorities for your current season. Yes. So for Mike and I, you know, now that we both work from home, now that he's home with me, we had to really say, you know what? Like, we have to protect our family time because Mike and I both have the tendency to be workaholics. We just love helping people, serving people. We love being able to, you know, just serve. I'm the creative out of the two of us, Mike's the executer. Like, he's the one that really likes to maximize everything. And for me, I'm that strategic, you know, I big vision dreams. Then I also have the ability to take everything that's big and make it small and make it into bite size, actionable steps to achieve the goals. So I mean, as you can imagine, we have a lot of great synergy and our children love entrepreneurship.

Carlie: 11:39 As a matter of fact, I'm starting a company with our daughter who's now an adult and it's called Planner Obsessed. And we just got the trademark awarded to us and we're super stoked. But the point being that, you know, entrepreneurship and business and this house like, I don't know, it's just like bread and butter for us. We love it but it's not always a priority every day. There had to be days where you know, God had to constantly remind me like that's great and I've anointed you for business, but you live by the beach, you moved to the beach so you could just go down there and relax and hang out cause it's one of your favorite places, Carlie. And I love meeting God there. I love going down there with my family. I love watching the boys, you know, just discover all the wonderful things that you can discover year round the sea.

Carlie: 12:20 And I love hearing the waves and I love, you know, a lot of times I'll walk the beach with Hannah and just gives her and I, a little bit of private time and Mike and the boys will, it'll kind of stay in one area and it just, that's the priorities for this season of life. I don't have to worry about my husband, you know, my husband working 18 hours a day and deploying for years at a time anymore. And so it definitely gives you the ability to just set the agenda according to God's plan and purpose for the season of life. And don't forget this guys, when God is moving you into the new season of life that you're in, whether it feels good or not, new seasons are just inevitable. Seasons change, but never forget that you cannot put new wine into old wineskins. That verse always helps me stay grounded in the times where I'm frustrated because I have to come up with new systems or I'm frustrated because what I was doing, well, why is this not working? Why are you guys not following the plan? Well, because the plan doesn't work. It's broken now because we're in a different season of life.

Mike: 13:31 That's so true. And when I was going to also add to, I had to learn to calm down and so when we do go to the beach, I'm able to, I still have that mentality of just, you know, watching my family enjoy themselves and I'm learning to enjoy myself as well, you know. Kind of saying, hey, this is more of a field trip, you know, for the boys as far as their learning versus, "Oh we got to get back there and do this and that." This is a field trip where they're learning right there on the beach.

Carlie: 13:58 Yeah. And, and it is, it's, and it's hard for you because you were on 24/7. When you are a GI, you're government issued, you are not like they own you. I mean, obviously Jesus owned you the whole time and that's how we made it through that season of our lives. But at the same time, it's a process and don't beat yourself up if you are resistant because at times there's going to be resistance. But every time I feel resistance, I already know that there is something that I am not submitting to God, that I am not letting go, that I am trying to hang onto for control reasons. And there's times where I know it and there was times where I don't realize it until he shows me. So it's all good stuff. You guys resetting can, you know, it's hard work and it's heart work, but it's good because you're gonna at the end of it, you're going to hear God clearly.

Carlie: 14:49 So when should you reset? Hey, what I say is, first of all, especially if you don't know your purpose, start today. Now now's as good a time as ever, right? Like there's no reason that you need to start any other time. There's no reason to wait till Sunday or wait until January 1st or wait until whatever. Just start now. And reset as often as you guys need to. One of the things that Mike and I realized it was that, you know, we kind of got caught up in the hype for awhile of the new year and I still love the new year. Don't get me wrong, I just love new anything fresh starts newness excites me because I see Jesus in the midst of it all and the possibilities excite me. And I think just the joy that we get in, in pulling together as a couple and as a family to create the things that God has in those new seasons and walking it out and just really, it's like one big, you know, exploration.

Carlie: 15:41 Like we're just constantly learning and putting one foot in front of the other and walking by faith the best we know how. And sometimes we don't, we fail. But at the end of the day, what we've learned is that when you reset during the times that you need to, it could be something you guys, it doesn't always have to be big things. It doesn't have to be, Oh, I made a cross country move. It doesn't have to be, Oh, there was a death in the family. It could literally be that your child graduated from kindergarten. Yeah. You know, maybe your child, there's a, there's a threshold that they've reached that, you know, they, they don't need the handholding as much anymore and that's a big deal. Especially for moms. I can vouch for the moms because I am one. It's tough. And any time that you feel like things are off, just reset. Reset.

Mike: 16:29 Yup. And you know, also along with that,

Mike: 16:33 There's going to be times where you're like, man, I just got to this place where man, I'm comfortable and things are just clicking, you know? But God always wants our dependency to be upon him. He controls the process, but we have to go through it. We have to walk it out. It's okay to feel vulnerable or uncomfortable because you know what? Then that gives us more of a focus to set our priorities on seeking him together through this whole process. You guys, it's, no, there's no, I, it's you guys, husband and wife working through this, constantly communicating, praying to God, seeking God, and you're continually doing this habit. You're making this a habit and God, He will totally show up and he'll help you through it.

Carlie: 17:21 It's so true. I mean, and that's where, where things start to break down is when we start separating ourselves out. You know, I know the times where I will put my own needs above Michael's. I mean, there's been several seasons where I've done that if I'm just being honest, you know, having pity parties or just carrying. It's my disobedience that will get me frustrated with him, you know? Cause I'm sitting here trying to do things in my own strength some days and it's not working out because guess what guys? It just usually never does. And so rather than me, you know, I'm so caught up in doing things in my own strength. At times I'll get frustrated with my husband, with Michael or with the children and that's where I know I need to reset something is off. This is not okay. You know? And that's when I go into prayer and I go and I confess my sin and, and to, you know, my God and into, you know, my family and ask for forgiveness.

Carlie: 18:13 And, and I just began to pick the pieces back up and start again. And what I love about God is that we can do that every day, every day. His mercies are renewed every day. So part of this process, you guys, as you can imagine when you're discovering your purpose as a couple or rediscovering it for this new season, is just the importance of submitting yourselves to God. You know, and I know it goes without saying and, and we talked about this the other night in a, in a Facebook group that we have for Christian couples. So we have a couple of groups, we have Christian Marriage Adventures, and that's the online group that we have for couples on Facebook. But then we also have Wives of Integrity and Husbands of Integrity. And so in our main group for couples, we go live weekly and we speak to them about different things.

Carlie: 18:59 And we talked about just not neglecting the basics. You know, it might sound like common sense, Oh submit yourself to God. Yeah I know that Carlie. But are you doing it? And that's the challenge because if we're being honest, we're not always doing that several times a day. We're not doing it because we're falling into our own pattern of, you know, thinking or we're just not doing things according to the gospel. And that's when we have to realign ourselves and it doesn't, you know, we can snap back real quick. The longer we do this, the easier it is to make that shift back into the mindset of submitting to God. So, you know, we're talking a little bit about these things. So how should we submit to God? The thing that Mike and I always recommend when we coach or counsel couples, the first thing to do is to come before God together in prayer, asking Him to show you what has He purposed for us? What has He purposed for us to do as a couple? You know, if you ask him, cause his word tells us that those of you who lack wisdom, you can come to me without you. You know, you can come to me at any point and I will give to you liberally without finding fault. So you've got to go to Him in prayer. Yes.

Mike: 20:10 That is so true. You know, so many times, you know, when I was trying to do things in my own strange, when I, you know, just trying to make some things happen, there was no peace number one. But I tried everything possible to seek other methods of finding the answer instead of seeking God first. And I was a guy that was like, okay, now I'm in a bind. I need God's help. I had to work out of that bad habit to say, you know what, God, you've done all this, these things for me and my family. I'm coming to you and we're going to come to you. We're going to talk about this. We're going to pray. And God, I promise you God will meet you. He, you know some you're like, well, I don't know how to pray. I don't know. You know, you don't understand. Well, guess what? Just by you showing up and you making that purpose in your heart, God is going to meet you there.

Carlie: 21:00 Oh, He will. And of course you can seek and submit yourself to God other ways. I mean, part of it is, you know, worship, some of it is is reading your Bible. Some of it is just loving the people that he's placed in your care, loving those around you and your community, those that he's called you to reach. That right there speaks volumes of submission to God. Because as we know, God is love, but really we do believe that the best starting point is prayer because that's an intimate conversation between you and God. And if you pray together as a couple, it's even more powerful because it's that three cord strand. It's you, your spouse and God and that right there, y'all like that glue with Jesus in the middle of that thing right there. Nothing can come against it. Nothing. I should say, nothing's going to come against it and actually win, okay.

Carlie: 21:53 That's what I meant to say. So we also want to talk about why. Why should we be submitting ourselves to God? And again, these may seem very basic, but these are things we have to often visit and revisit to make sure that we're staying sharp, that our focus hasn't made us believe something different than what the word says. But the first reason that we want to talk about why, it's because God's going to begin to speak to you. He's going to speak to you through his word. He's going to show you that unique purpose and mission that he designed only for your marriage. You guys are the only two married couple on the face of the planet that can do what it is that he's called you to do. And at the end of the day because there are people in this world, you guys who need, you need you to take hold of that purpose. They need you to say "yes" to Jesus and walk in that anointing and in that calling, they depend on it. Their lives depend on it. Seriously. They do. And never forget that we're all one body, okay? It's the body of Christ and we all have to be functioning in the realms of influence that God has called us to. It's just like players on a field, right? If one of the players is out of position, guess what buddy?

Mike: 23:07 Something, something's left unguarded. You know, and here's another thing. As you seek God in prayer and in his word, you have a foundation to go back to. You don't live off of somebody else's experience or something that they didn't fulfill. God has a specific purpose for you and your spouse and he will reveal it. He'll give you pieces to the puzzle as you'd get into his word because you have his word to come back to God. I remember when you showed me this, something was sparked inside of me. I might not know it all the way, but we're going to seek God. We're going to keep seeking you out about this. You know what I mean? And you know, people might throw the little opinions about things, but keep in mind they're not God. They're not God, but God is always there. When you read the word, you're saying, God, I want to know. I want to know more about you and please show me more of our purpose.

Carlie: 24:00 That's right. That's really good. You know another reason why is because, how else can we create that legacy that God's called us to create for our children and for our children's children if we're not plugged into him? Yes. So Jesus said in John 17:4, "I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do." This right here is huge. If Jesus himself is having a conversation in his head, with Father God, and telling him at the end that he brought him glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. We know that he's also given us work to do and so we need to finish that work. And that finishing work is our legacy. You know I think about Michael, he grew up with a dad who was a concrete contractor. So Michael knew how to finish concrete.

Carlie: 24:51 And I think about, at our last house in Colorado Springs, we had an addition and we had about 300 square feet of concrete added to one of our back patios, the back area of the house. And when they were adding and I was looking at was like, uh, that looks crazy. You know, it just didn't look good. But they weren't finished. They hadn't done the finishing work, but when they did the finishing work and I saw the end result, I thought, okay, this looks good. I was really happy and I really believe that our Heavenly Father feels the same way about us when we fulfill the call. That's right. He looks at us and he's proud. And that legacy, we're with Him in heaven and then it's still speaking volumes long after we've gone to the grave because He is a part of it. He's the one that called us to do it, where his handiwork, He just said, hey, this is what I have for you. This is the, you know, we don't even need to know why. This is what I have for you to do. Just do it just in faith, just to do it. Yeah.

Mike: 25:53 Just do it. And you know, let's go back to the handiwork. I like how Carlie used the concrete when it first comes out of the truck. It's like, what is this? All these rocks and it's just not done. It hasn't been smoothed out or finished. And you're like, Oh my gosh. You know what I mean? Look at it like this. That can be at times when we go through different seasons of life, we don't know the outcome. But as we keep seeking God and we keep making it a habit, God is going to take that and make something out of it. And you know, and that's what legacy is. We're not gonna see everything or we're not going to see our legacy fulfilled on earth. A lot of our legacy is how many people we influence after we've gone. And the Bible says our children's children, so it should automatically go down to those generations. But in order for that to happen, you have to determine to say, you know what, we do have a purpose. We're going to do, we're going to seek God, we're going to get in His word and we're going to go through this and allow God to use you to influence others for the purpose He has.

Carlie: 27:04 Absolutely. So what now? You know that you do have a purpose and you know, some practical ways, some practical principles, some foundational aspects of how you can get that purpose. You know, get to it. But then what? Well, what we do is we prayerfully create action steps. Notice I said prayerfully. Okay. Because again, when we try to do things in our own strength, it may sustain for a minute. We might, you know, be able to get a little wind out of it, but eventually it's just going to fall to the ground. It's going to cause division and it's just not going to be pretty. So Proverbs 19:21 tells us that "many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Wow. Well thank you Jesus for that. Okay. I'm so grateful. He's so good to us. It doesn't give that, it's hard for me to wrap my head around it.

Carlie: 28:00 But the thing is once you guys have determined your steps, then that's where you have to start looking at the goals you desire to reach. You know, this includes the big picture. So the longterm goals that we talked about earlier, just big picture of things. This might be like, okay, well I know part of the legacy that we have is to leave and let's just say an inheritance for our children. You know, and that could be in the form of a monetary inheritance. It could be in the form of a spiritual inheritance. You know, that spiritual legacy is, is really what we should be aiming to do first. Just seeing mom and dad love each other, seeing mom and dad work through things because life surely is not perfect. You know what? I remember when we first got married, somebody was like, well, your children should never see you have conflict.

Carlie: 28:45 And it was like, you know, I've never agreed with that. That never sat well with me. I don't think people need to be fighting like banshees in the first place. It's just not healthy. However, if our children never see conflict and they never see resolution, how are they going to work through life? Life is full of conflict. Our walk of faith is full of conflict and at the end of the day, they need to see parents who are willing to walk that out together. So while we don't have every conversation in front of the kids, we have allowed them to see at times when we're struggling so they can know. Number one, we need their prayers. We're a praying family. We need their help, but two, so they can see, wow, mommy and daddy really worked through that. And that right there speaks volumes. But then along with the longterm goals, we have the short term goals, right? That's what it's the daily, the weekly, the monthly things. All these things add up to getting you to that legacy, taking those steps. And it's a lot of work you guys. So we can't sit here and act like we can fit it into this short podcast. But what we can tell you is that God will meet you where you're at and he will give you the steps that you need to take so that his purpose prevails.

Mike: 29:59 So true. And you know, again, every step of the way, it's so important that you constantly communicate. There's going to be times where you and your spouse, you might not agree on certain things. But you talk it through, you pray it through, and then you say, okay, now let's strive for this. So you regroup, you're constantly rehuddling. It's not just saying, we're gonna huddle once a year and then just let life, let it play out its course. No, you're constantly communicating things change, you know what I mean? And then you guys are attacking it together. And as you're doing that, God is coming in there and He's just, He's making it work. And so many people, we don't realize when we're caught up in our own lives, we don't realize that we have neighbors, we have coworkers, we have family members, we have friends that are watching our lives under a microscope. All right? And so as you continually seek God and communicate, God is able to use you to influence others.

Carlie: 31:02 Yeah, and another great scripture that goes along with all of this is found in Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I don't know about you, but that gives me a lot of peace. It gives me a lot of confidence because knowing that my God promises that He will carry that good work into completion. He will carry it as long as we submit it to Him, submit ourselves to Him, submit our marriage to Him, submit everything to Him, to His word, to His will, to His way. What's really cool about all of this you guys is that it gets easier with time. Sometimes it's overwhelming. I know some of you out there are just like, that sounds awesome, but I don't know where to start. Well, one thing that we could tell you is that we do have a course called Goal Setting for Couples. This course has helped countless people go through the process of stripping down, resetting and getting to the point where they can hear the voice of God and as a couple come together and create a life and a legacy that they're proud of. The one that God has created them to do. So you can check that out at goalsettingforcouples.com. Now this is the part that is the end. It's the, I think it's the most important part beyond your relationship with Jesus and this is the part where you have to prayerfully seek out accountability partners.

Mike: 32:32 And I liked the fact of the point that you said prayerfully. Make sure you pray. There's agreement. Not like, Oh, I'm going to so-and-so. No, you need to make sure you pray and you, your and your spouse are in agreement because these accountability partners, they're gonna challenge you. They're going to ask you the hard questions and they're gonna say, Hey, how are you going to get there? What are you going to do now though? You need people in your life. You cannot live out this journey or live out your purpose on your own. God will always send people along the way to help you during your journey.

Carlie: 33:11 It's so true. And one of the things that you know, we always talk about too when it comes to find your accountability partners is that it's not likely going to be who you thought it would. Yeah. You know, you might have an idea..oh, this person, that would be awesome if they could be my accountability partner. Don't do that. Pray about it, pray about it. Because one of the things that we've learned is that while we, with our limited sight and vision, think something may be good. A lot of times it's not. Because if somebody has any vested interest in your relationship, you can get a little weird because you know, people can get really emotional. So like it's not good to have your mom who doesn't really like your spouse be an accountability partner because they're going to always be on the side of the spouse or their child.

Carlie: 33:59 I know there's some parents out there that wouldn't do that because that's just, they're called to be neutral and they are, you know, close to Jesus and they are refined because they are mature in that regard. But it's, it's often dangerous when you involve people that could potentially have a bias. So I know this, that one of the things that God has always done for us in our accountability partners, they've always been very non-biased. And that's amazing. So, okay guys, that's all we have for you today. We're so glad that you joined us and we look forward to catching you up next week.