How to Become a Wife of Integrity
Woven within being the wife God would have you to be is becoming a wife of integrity. Often times this may seem like an unrealistic expectation, but it’s not. Yes, it is easy to get overwhelmed with thoughts of not doing enough or measuring up to another woman’s marriage. However, being a wife is a blessing.
No matter what you’ve done or where your marriage currently stands, there is always room for improvement. Scripture is filled with both instruction and encouragement to help you become the wife God called you to be – a wife of integrity.
A Wife of Integrity Defined
If you look up the definition of integrity, you’ll see characteristics and qualities like:
- having good moral principles
- being whole and undivided
These qualities alone are great, but when truly activated in your life, you’ll then see and feel its effects in your marriage. While there isn’t a one-step, fix-all in becoming a wife of integrity, below are five practical, biblically sound tips to help you become the wife God called you to be.
A Praying Wife
You’ve probably heard it said before, “Prayer is a powerful weapon!” And there is a good reason for it. All throughout Scripture you can find a number of prayers – over 600 to be exact. This alone shows the importance (and power) of prayer.
When it comes to our marriages, this same level of importance certainly applies. Being a praying wife for your husband, yourself, and your marriage can do a number of things. It can:
- relinquish our control and rightfully give it to God
- offer protection
- give favor
- supply needs
These are not only vital for a thriving marriage, but also as a praying wife of integrity. If you’re looking for a starting point in praying for your spouse, consider these topics and Scriptures:
- His mind: 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Romans 8:6, Romans 7:25, Mark 12:30
- Temptations: James 1:13-15, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Galatians 5:19-21
- Integrity: Proverbs 28:6, Proverbs 11:3, Psalm 7:8, Psalm 26:1
Below are topics and Scriptures to pray over yourself:
- Exhibit fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23
- Unity: Amos 3:3
- To be forgiving: Ephesians 4:32
Extra tip: Use this LOVE Scripture journal to pray for your spouse, marriage, and your role as a godly wife.
A Wife in the Word
Being a wife in the Word can go hand-in-hand with being a praying wife. If you are using the Word to pray over your marriage, then most likely you are staying in your Word. While we can use Scripture to pray for our marriage, it is also a good idea to stay in the Word for much more.
Often times it’s easy to go this verse, then jump to that verse; however, the Bible offers some powerful stories that can be used as life lessons… especially for us as wives. The go-to standard is typically Proverbs 31, but Scripture offers so much more than that.
There are several other wives we can read about who showed characteristics worth adopting and following (as well as some good what-not-to-do lessons):
- Sarah: although she finds herself in a pickle with badly wanting children, she also followed her husband wherever God called them to go. Her faithfulness rewarded her with being the mother of many nations.
- Ruth: she exhibits faithfulness and a humbleness still talked about today. After the passing of her husband, she stuck with her mother-in-law (who also lost her husband). She was rewarded with Boaz and the gift of being in the direct lineage of Jesus.
- Elizabeth: being another woman who experienced barrenness, she and her husband eventually conceived. Elizabeth was also filled with the Holy Spirit after the encounter with her cousin Mary (who was pregnant with Jesus at the time).
What these wives of integrity show us is that having the presence of the Holy Spirit, being humble and trustworthy, and having unity with our spouses can reap great reward.
Extra tip: Choose a different woman/wife in Scripture to study each month.
A Speaker of Life-Giving Words
There’s another quote that comes to mind when thinking of being a wife who speaks life – “Behind every strong man is a wife speaking life into him.” The term “speak life” is another topic that when searched, will bring up hundreds of verses.
There is much power behind the words we speak, so much power that Scripture says they carry life and death. If the words spoken to (and over) our husbands are positive and uplifting, it pushes them toward God and the calling on their life. When they are negative and belittling, the opposite happens.
When thinking about speaking life-giving words over your husband, consider the following:
- Believe from your heart what God says about him: Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 15:18-19
- Voice his strengths (not only his weaknesses): Psalm 141:3, Proverbs 16:24
- Speak with grace and truth: Psalm 34:12, Psalm 15:4
Extra tip: Find life-giving verses, write them on notecards, and post them around your home.
A Seeker of Wisdom and Understanding
Wisdom and understanding are considered the glue to many things. Without it, one’s spiritual walk, marriage, and everything they do can become a list of systematic rules and things taken out of context. With it comes eye-opening encounters and experiences.
The road to becoming a wife of integrity is paved with seeking wisdom and understanding. Why? Because marriage is not always easy. There are downs just like there are ups. There are bad days just the same as good days. And in most cases, it’s wisdom and understanding that will keep you on track.
Scripture tells us plainly why and how to pursue these characteristics:
- If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it shall be given to him. -James 1:5
- “How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver!” -Proverbs 16:16
- “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” -James 3:13
There are many more verses that speak of seeking wisdom and understanding. As the previous tip suggested, find more verses about this topic and write them on notecards, or in your journal. Pray them over yourself, your husband, and marriage.
A Teachable Wife
Titus 2 gives such an amazing account of what it means to be teachable. In the journey of becoming a wife of integrity, it is important to link up with other godly wives who can help guide and teach you along the way.
This is another area in which Scripture plainly lays out the role of older women:
“The older women likewise are to be set-apart in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of what is good, in order for them to train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, blameless, workers at home, good, subject to their own husbands, in order that the word of God is not evil spoken of.” -Titus 2:3-5
That passage alone sums up the other tips suggested above, and some. When you can connect with other like-minded, spiritually-grounded wives of integrity, it becomes a win-win for you and your marriage.
These simple, but powerful tips will put your role as a wife of integrity into full speed ahead in your marriage. Take your time as you begin to implement them, and hang on for the marital ride of your life. You’ll be amazed at how God will begin to move you and your marriage!
CHIME IN: What tips do you have for becoming a wife of integrity? Let us know in the comments below.