6 Scriptures for Better Marriage Communication
Better marriage communication is something that takes constant and intentional work. In fact, the lack of it is one of the top three reasons why couples find themselves unhappy with their spouse. Instead of letting miscommunication push you and your spouse apart, let’s talk about how to use scriptures for better marriage communication.
How to Use Scripture for Better Marriage Communication
If there’s one thing we know about Scripture, there is a Word for any and every aspect of life, especially when it comes to communication. The problem we often encounter, though, is understanding how to apply the truths of scripture so we can walk them out in day-to-day life.
Before getting into the scriptures we’d like to share to help boost your communication skills with your spouse, let’s look at ways to apply any and all of God’s Word. For starters, you must believe the Word applies to you today. Yes, it was written thousands of years ago, but the principles are still applicable today.
Once you believe that scripture is for your life today, you must find the principle. Every verse and chapter can be aligned with some type of principle. As you’ll read in the scriptures below, many of them will fall in the category of self-examination coupled with responsibility and loving others. Seeing scripture through a principle lens allows you to make it more practical.
Once you’ve identified the principle, it becomes easier to see what area of your life needs to change or be tweaked in order to align with how God said we should be. As husbands and wives, there is an added principle, but there are also scriptures for that as well. Having better marriage communication should be seen as a tangible goal versus something abstract and not reachable. With this in mind, let’s look at some scriptures to strengthen communication in your marriage.
6 Scriptures for Better Marriage Communication
Listen and do.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
You have to love James’ bluntness in this entire chapter. He definitely doesn’t pull any punches here when he says that we need to be quick to listen. Immediately following he also says to be slow to speak and slow to become angry. Applying it to marital communication and you have a test out of this world. When you and your spouse and having conversations, make sure you are listening, and not listening ready to respond. That’s where the slow-to-speak part comes in. If you’re having a “heated” discussion, be slow to anger. This is much easier to accomplish when you’re listening and not ready for your turn to talk.
Talk that builds.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
The way you talk to your spouse sets the tone for any and every way you communicate. In other words, if you’re whining and complaining, chances are that tone will carry through almost every conversation you have. If your words are hurtful, they can plant seeds of neglect, depression, and resentment. In moments when you can’t find something positive to say, remain silent and pray. Begin to pray for God to show you ways to build up your spouse, whether in word or deed.
More Scriptures for Better Marriage Communication
Season your conversations with salt.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6)
Salt is seen as a good thing in scripture. We are called to be light and salt to the world, so how much better is it that we season our communication with salt? This scripture in Colossians gives you the side effect of having grace-filled conversations, seasoned with salt. It says that you will know how to answer everyone. This is vital in marriage, especially when you’re quick to speak (instead of listening).
Listen first, speak second.
To answer before listening – that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13).
Have you noticed the trend by now? Having better marriage communication involves a lot of listening and a lot less talking than you’d probably like to do. In this scripture, we’re reminded that answering a matter before we’ve heard it all the way out is folly and shame. In other words, when your spouse is talking, it’s wise and respectful to listen to them completely. Resist the urge to cut them off, correct them, or quickly offer a solution. Instead… listen.
Guard your mouth.
Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3)
This verse offers a quick prayer that can be said from the heart, especially in the moments when you want to say things less than pleasant to your spouse. In all honesty, this should be an ongoing prayer that is prayed whether you are speaking or not. When you are guarding your mouth, you’re also watching over what comes out of it.
The golden rule in communication.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)
The golden rule is true in marriage communication as with every other area of life. If you want your spouse to speak positive, building, comforting, trustworthy, and supportive words to you, speak those to him/her. Husbands and wives naturally reciprocate all things physical, mental, and emotional – including communication. Keep this in mind when speaking with your spouse. Speak to them how you’d like to be spoken to.
Better marriage communication should be an ongoing goal in your marriage. It may not always be easy but it is worth the constant effort that you put into it. Use the suggestions and scriptures above and mix them with prayer. With this, you can never go wrong!