Continuing with our ways to love languages series, let’s look at ways to love your spouse through acts of service. This can be seen as one of the hardest languages to communicate, thanks to our prideful and “all about me” nature. When it comes to showing acts of service, it’s about genuinely doing things you know your spouse would like. This act also requires thoughtfulness, planning, and effort. Using the popular scripture passage in 1 Corinthians 13, let’s look at this act through its most important characteristic – love.
The Root of Showing Acts of Service
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Using the passage above, some benefits can be reaped for loving your spouse through acts of service that are rooted in love.
Acts of service take patience.
Patience isn’t always easy and there are times when you may want to be anything but that; however, being intentional with acts of service can help you work on being more patient. I’ll admit that I am learning to have patience in the little (and not-so-little) things. This is where being intentional about doing this act works in my and my spouse’s favor.
Acts of service require you to resist pride.
Doing something for someone else always takes a motive check. Are you doing it for recognition or to boast? Being genuine in what you do for your spouse won’t be at the expense of pride. In fact, it will be the very opposite. Oftentimes this can be a humbling experience.
Ask for God’s help to show acts of service.
Even if you have an idea of ways you can love your spouse through acts of kindness, it’s still a great excuse to have a chat with God. After all, He is the one who knows our spouse the best, so why not ask Him for direction or ideas for ways to show love through this act? You may be surprised at what He shows you!
Acts of service should be unconditional.
Unconditional love is the best kind of love to give and receive. When doing things for your spouse, it’s an opportunity to do them from a pure motive. Unconditional acts of service say there doesn’t have to be a certain reason to show kindness or love. It simply means that you care for your spouse and want to show them.
Showing acts of service helps you to abide in love.
Intentional acts of service help you to stay rooted in loving your spouse the way they want to be loved. It’s easy to love through your love languages because it’s the natural way of communicating through the things you like. However, when you are focused on what makes your spouse happy, every act is placed on loving them.
Ways to Show Acts of Service
Now that we can see the benefits (and blueprint) of this act, here are 5 ways to love your spouse through acts of service:
- Keep the home clean.
- Pack your spouse’s lunch (or prepare them a meal).
- Intentionally plan a date day (or night).
- Plan a fun getaway (family-style if you have small kids).
- Take over a chore they dislike.
Practical loving actions and acts of service can mean the world to your spouse. It is a sure way to fill their love tank and in ways that truly speak to their needs. If you’re ever in doubt, this would be a good conversation to have with your spouse. Ask them things you can do for them that would make them happy, then do it!