Have you ever felt that you and are your spouse are navigating rocky waters? Have things gotten to a point where you don’t know where to even begin in making them right? All couples endure challenges in their years together. The approach that you take in working to become a stronger couple will make all the difference. Here are 5 ways to fix a troubled marriage.
5 Ways to Fix a Troubled Marriage
1. Identify the Problems and Set your Goal
Before you can begin trying to make things right with your spouse, you must take a careful look at your marriage and identify those things that are presenting challenges. Take caution to not go into this meeting of the minds in an accusatory way. Instead, set the tone that it is a meeting set to help you achieve the common goal of becoming stronger and rediscovering the kind of marriage that you both want.
Not sure where to start in sorting out your challenges? Have a copy of the vows that you spoke on your wedding day and use it as a checklist. Go through each thing that you promised yourselves (and God) to make sure that you are both living up to those promises. Then create a list of those things that you would like to work to change.
To take it a step further, begin to set specific marriage goals for your year, month, and week. Our Goal Setting Planner for Couples has already assisted hundreds of couples to set goals and successfully work towards them, together.
2. Work Together
Rarely, when there are problems in a marriage, is it the fault of one person. Instead, a variety of actions, on both parts, likely led to where you are now. Once you have identified what changes need to be made in your relationship, it’s time to start working. Set up a plan for the ways that you will both work to become stronger for one another (and your marriage). Then get started in making those changes. Check in with one another on a weekly basis to talk about progress being made and where you are still working on growing.
3. Seek Support
There are plenty of supports out there to assist struggling couples. One great place to begin is a trusted clergy member. By seeking faith-based support, you and your spouse will be reminded of what the foundations of marriage are and you will be able to work through those foundational pieces together. You may also be led to books that support those goals, making for a wonderful opportunity to grow together through reading the same book.
If you still feel, after seeing faith-based council, that you need continued support, you may want to consider talking with a marriage therapist. This person has the skills to look objectively at the challenges that you are facing and will help you to see things from new perspectives.
4. Pray Together
So often when we feel struggle we find ourselves praying and sharing our challenges with God. By praying with your spouse and asking for God’s guidance in your journey, you are both opening yourselves and your emotions up to one another. You are speaking your desire to change for one another and the marriage that God created. The intimacy of prayer will bring you closer together as you ask for God’s help in the work that you are doing.
5. Play Together
As you work, you must also remember to take opportunities to play as well. Take time out of the work that you’re doing to enjoy each other’s company. Go on dates, go shopping together and build dreams for your future. Spending time together and enjoying those little moments will remind you of how enjoyable your marriage has been and how, moving forward, it will continue to be.
Do you know other ways to fix a troubled marriage? Please share your ideas.
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