Christian wives should have more sex. There. I said it.
I probably don’t need to belabor the point that many Christian marriages are lackluster when it comes to sex. We typically believe the world has the edge on how to add sizzle and spice . . . not the church folks we smile and shake hands with on Sunday. Yet the truth is that the Christian marriage bed should be so satisfying that it makes everyone else envious.
If there were ever a time when sex between a married man and woman should be red hot and enviable, that time is now. We live in a culture that sees one man-one woman married sex as boring, bland, and vanilla flavored. Scripture teaches just the opposite: This kind of sex can be passionate, rich, and downright sacred.
As a married woman who appreciates godly reminders regarding the purpose and potential of sex, I’d like to offer a few convincing reasons why we as Christian wives should have more sex with our husband.
Why Christian Wives Should Have More Sex
1. Sex makes a theological statement.
Sex reveals the heart of God towards His people. While Scripture reveals God’s nature through His many names, attributes, and deeds, sex shows us the raw passion God has for His people like nothing else.
Ephesians 5 teaches marriage is a reflection of Christ and His bride. Sex in marriage shows us the way Christ passionately pursues His bride; how He takes deep pleasure from and with her; how He deepens His union with her in private, mysterious, even holy ways. Sex within marriage reflects this intimate union between Christ and His bride, the church.
We can hold sex in high regard because it reveals mysteries about God Himself.
2. Sex protects the heart from insecurity.
A woman’s tendency to insecurity is no big secret. That is why being 100% open and vulnerable with another human being–and receiving his acceptance and passionate touch in return–is a huge step in liberating the female heart from insecurity. To find acceptance from someone is a powerful thing, especially when it comes through such a deep, vulnerable activity as sex.
We can embrace sex as a means to receiving acceptance.
More Reasons Christian Wives Should Have More Sex
3. Sex drives out shame.
Two of the deadliest things Satan wants to do with sex is to make “wrong” sex right and to make “right” sex shameful. Many Christian men and women struggle with the latter. To be naked and unashamed is a gift husbands and wives can give one another.
The provision of Christ means that sexual sin, past sexual abuse, sexual imperfections, and shortcomings all have redemption in Christ. In Christ there is a covering for sexual sin and healing for sexual wounds. The godly marriage bed is a place where these wonderful truths play out and become tangible. This is a powerful reason why Christian wives should have more sex with their husband.
We can engage in sex without shame and in a way that reflects the redemption of Christ.
4. Sex guards against lust and sexual impurity.
Many men–if not most–struggle with sexual temptation. We serve our husbands in a spiritual capacity when we minister to them sexually (I Corinthians 7:3-5). I’m not talking about being a sex slave; I’m talking about being a willing, frequent participant in sexual activity and allowing ourselves to enjoy it. Even when sex isn’t enjoyable (due to physical or emotional reasons), we can still choose to view sex as a way to bless and serve someone we deeply love and in fact are one with.
We can choose to willingly serve our husband by being his sexual partner.
5. Sex glorifies God.
If we are to eat and drink in a way that glorifies God, we are definitely to have sex in a way that glorifies Him (I Corinthians 10:31). Christians often think glorifying God means doing or not doing certain things. But sex that glorifies God is not just monogamous sex that simply abides by a bunch of rules.
Sex glorifies God when it is:
- Passionate (Song of Solomon)
- Pleasurable (Proverbs 5:18-19)
- Pure (I Thessalonians 4:3)
- Sanctifying (Ephesians 5:22-30)
- Serves your spouse (I Corinthians 7:3-5)
- Deepening your intimacy with God (Ephesians 5:31-32)
This kind of sex is our birthright in Christ . . . and this is the kind of sex we should have lots more of!
Arabah Joy is wife to Jackson, adoptive and biological mom to 4 little ones, and missionary to East Asia. Her adventures span far and wide, from eating pig snouts to giving birth in three different Asian countries. Mostly though, she is a broken woman redeemed by grace. She has written several books including the 40-day devotional, Trust Without Borders. You can find out more and connect with her at ArabahJoy.com.